A blank page is the wrong place to start an obituary, and most people don’t realize that until they’re staring at one, cursor blinking, trying to summarize a whole life with no structure to lean on. A template doesn’t make the writing less personal. It just gives grief somewhere to put its hands while the harder, more personal sentences get found.
A Basic Structure That Works for Almost Anyone
Most obituaries, regardless of length or tone, move through a similar shape: the announcement (name, age, date and place of passing), a brief life overview (birthplace, family of origin, education, career), the people left behind and the people who came before (survived by, preceded in death by), and a closing section for service details or a final personal note. That skeleton can hold almost any tone — formal, warm, funny, brief — which is exactly why it’s worth starting from rather than starting from nothing.
A Traditional Example
“[Name], [age], of [city], passed away peacefully on [date] surrounded by family. Born on [date] in [place] to [parents’ names], [he/she/they] graduated from [school] and went on to a [length]-year career as a [profession]. [He/She/They] is survived by [spouse], [children], and [grandchildren], and was preceded in death by [names]. [He/She/They] will be remembered for [one or two specific, genuine qualities — not generic virtues]. A service will be held on [date] at [location].” This version works well for a traditional, formal tone, and its structure makes it easy to fill in even under time pressure.
A Warmer, More Personal Example
“[Name] lived [number] years the way [he/she/they] wanted to — [a specific, true detail: loudly, generously, stubbornly, exactly as described]. [He/She/They] was the person who [a specific habit or role: always had the coffee on before anyone else woke up, never missed a grandchild’s game, could fix anything with duct tape and patience]. [He/She/They] leaves behind [names], who will spend the rest of their lives quoting [him/her/them] without meaning to. A gathering to celebrate [his/her/their] life will be held on [date].” This version trades formality for specificity, and tends to sound more like the actual person, precisely because it leans on one true detail instead of general praise.
The One Rule That Matters More Than Any Template
Whichever structure you use, the sentence that will matter most to the people reading it is usually the specific one — the coffee detail, the duct-tape detail, the thing only people who actually knew this person would recognize. Templates exist to handle the parts of an obituary that are logistical (dates, names, service details) so that your attention and effort can go entirely toward the one or two sentences that are actually irreplaceable. Fill in the structure quickly. Spend your real time on the part no template can write for you.